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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Floating leaf 3

I have carefully considered my future for the past few days now, and have discussed it with a few well-meaning people. I have had various ideas and advices (if that's a word) flooding in on how I should make a good career change, or study more, or settle down. (and let's not forget those who ask me to find a girl soon!) Everybody is worried for me and my future. The fact that things ahead are so foggy begins to make me week in the knees.
And then, when I think about the HIV patients I serve, and the fact that their perspective of the future have changed since they knew about the disease they carry, and death, which once appeared so far away to them now seems to take precedence in their lives and plans. Their future is filled with horror, oppression, sickness, loneliness and an early death. But as I watch them stand up to these insurmountable odds with determined smiles on their faces, making sure they'll make a difference, I feel small.
No matter where we are, and how things work out, the future has always been and will always be more muddy, murky and futile than the past. But that should not stop us from struggling to live, love and make a difference in this world. All I need to do is take care of myself and walk in His ways one day at a time. God has taken care of my future plans. The least I could do is not be bothered about it.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Crack for the Soul

Sorry readers, for the late update. I am on vacation now, and am really enjoying myself. Literally in a state of Euphoria. Two whole weeks with absolutely no responsibilities, (except the occasional work-related emails that require quick co-ordination and organization skills) and just watching TV or playing PS2 with my bro has really defragged my brain.
No philosophical thinking and worrying myself, my parents and everybody else around me to death. Usually in Delhi, with the lack of the modern opium of the masses, namely the TV, I tend to think so much that I amaze myself and frustrate my friends.
All my friends decided that I needed to take a break (with good home made food and a nice rest in an air-conditioned room will help me get my thoughts together). But with the proximity of family that includes a super-duper funloving brother and a television set, even if I try as hard as I can, I cannot think the same thoughts I used to think before. It is so weird! I just wonder if it is a good thing or not.
In a weeks time, I'll be back in Delhi. More like back to reality with all its troubles, and my blog will start to look morose again. Until then, I'll try and blog as much as I can.