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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Floating leaf 3

I have carefully considered my future for the past few days now, and have discussed it with a few well-meaning people. I have had various ideas and advices (if that's a word) flooding in on how I should make a good career change, or study more, or settle down. (and let's not forget those who ask me to find a girl soon!) Everybody is worried for me and my future. The fact that things ahead are so foggy begins to make me week in the knees.
And then, when I think about the HIV patients I serve, and the fact that their perspective of the future have changed since they knew about the disease they carry, and death, which once appeared so far away to them now seems to take precedence in their lives and plans. Their future is filled with horror, oppression, sickness, loneliness and an early death. But as I watch them stand up to these insurmountable odds with determined smiles on their faces, making sure they'll make a difference, I feel small.
No matter where we are, and how things work out, the future has always been and will always be more muddy, murky and futile than the past. But that should not stop us from struggling to live, love and make a difference in this world. All I need to do is take care of myself and walk in His ways one day at a time. God has taken care of my future plans. The least I could do is not be bothered about it.

4 comments:

Precious ordinary moments said...

You actually called the future murky?!?!?! I think the Bible portrays a picture of heaven too bright and blissful for O.U.R. imaginations Sam!

Precious ordinary moments said...

oh and btw you never had such discussions with US..... too bad!

sam said...

it's not heaven i am.. err.. was... worried about... it's the little time i have between now and then (why am i even explaining myself?)

invite me for dinner! or come home sometime! (though you'll have to adjust with the nonexistent dining table) we'll have discussions!

Moni said...

Sam, love the perspective of waiting and TRUSTING. He knows best, rest...rest, my friend. Wish we could have one of our mind-stretching convos again...Take care!