Paradise

Never thought I'd get back to studying, but here I am, back to unreality. I remember crying myself to sleep on my first day in Delhi. Staying on top of a deserted house in a village that was famous for its dangerous gangs. It was quite traumatic in the beginning, to hear of thefts in nearby houses, and a theft in the very same house that I had just moved into. At that time I did not have any house-hold things, except for a rice-cooker. I tried cooking on my very first night there, and I gagged over and over while I tried to stuff the sticky rice in as fast as possible. I wasn't even used to eating alone! 

2 years (counting 5 months at home) in a life like that, where my worries were about stuffing money in socks when I walked home after 11 in the night, and how I would get up in the morning for work when I was forced to stay up all night because there was no electricity and the mosquitos that swarmed like the locusts during Moses' plague. 

Now, all I seem to worry about is not being able to keep in touch with friends and not being able to organize myself, and not be as productive as I should be. The food, the laundry, security problems and the company ot have fun with is taken care of! I am pampered in many ways. I hope I do well here. Must get my act together.

Where are you from?

Being a campus hopper all my life, I have found that the first few questions people ask you could tell you a lot about the atmosphere you're entering into. When I walked into my Std V class in Chennai for the first time, everybody said. "Which class do you belong to?" "Std V? Sec A? Right this way!" Do you know Tamil?, no? Are you a foreigner? Where do you live? Oh! How much is your rent?..." I got to answer all these questions on my first day at school, all of 9 years. But I (much later) figured out that they were bunch that hadn't seen anything outside Chennai. That last question told me how particular they were about the class-setup. Who was richer than the other, and why. 

When I moved to JNU, the question there was... "Which college did you study in last?" Obviously, trying to gauge your past education, and calculate your IQ based on that information. At Xaviers, it was a more happy-go-lucky kind, where one asks "What are your interests?" hoping you would have the same hysterical love for jive dancing, F-1 racing, or obscure modern poetry as they do. 

At SAIACS, the question is more primordial. "Where are you from?" People like myself, who have been travelling around do not have an accurate answer. I end up telling where my parents were from, which gives them some satisfaction. Somehow, as a person living in cosmopolitan areas all my life, the question shocks me. But it reveals a lot more. The asker, mostly someone stepping into a cosmopolitan environment for the first time in their life would prefer finding someone they could relate with better on a cultural level; mainly to help both asker and askee deal with the crazy cosmopolitan environment. It also helps build stereotypes about places and people. Put strange faces and behaviors into boxes. It is an amazing coping mechanism, helping the person adjust better if not used with caution. Stereotypes could become unproductive and racist if not handled with care.

Since 80% of the campus are exposed to such environments for the first time, much care must be taken to not step on anybody's toes. Just to know what the person's background is will let most people know where his toes are. e.g. whether the person eats pork, or whether he gets offended by sarcasm, etc. During my BA, I was thought about the evils of stereotypes, that could lead to racism, and how mean it is to ask questions based on ethnicity.  It's interesting how a little more basic (rather mundane) knowledge can help build (instead of break) relationships with strangers. 

5 Stages of Settling in

Every new place I go to, I unconsciously go through a few stages of settling in. Have you heard of the 5 stages of grief? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance? I have my own 5 stages for settling down in a new place. 

Stage 1 Getting a feel 

Being altogether new and all, I try to keep a low profile, while trying to find out as much as possible about the place, and the kind of people that are there. Introvert as I am, I will not talk much, be as polite as possible, and try to not  step on anybody's toes. Doing that in SAIACS was quite the challenge, because like a prof here once said, 'we're all crammed here like sardines'. So getting a feel, which usually takes 2 weeks, took me only one. I got to know many great people, and spotted my potential buddies, and I slowlly slipped to 

Stage 2 Getting comfortable

As the Tamil saying goes, the 'tail came out of the pants' (translated and paraphrased). I started getting bolder, pulling out my usual sarcasm, and getting to know people a little bit more. This is when I slowly stop missing my old friends and try to 'move on' to the new ones. This usually takes 2 months to complete. SAIACS tries its best to be welcoming to new-comers, trying to help us out in any way possible, from faculty to students. The weather speaks for itself, and the campus, with its rough stone railings, huge well-manicured lawn, cheerful people, croquet, cricket, football and music lures you into itself. Days go by quickly, as not much time is wasted. The rigorous academic schedule makes sure of that. After a slight initial complaining, I'm comfortable enough to get to know SAIACS a little more, pushing me into 

Stage 3 Disillusionment

This is where I am now. Since all campuses or places showcase themselves as the ideal spot to be in, and that it's only a closer view that actually reveals that it's impossible to be 'ideal', it pushes you into disillusionment. All those assumptions I made in Stage 1 and 2 slowly break-down when I see the darker reality of what's before me. Virtues I was so used to in other places are absent here. The people here are so different from what I thought they would be like. With SAIACS, it is how stories about you are made and how they come back to you modified and exaggerated. With JNU, it was the dirty dhabas, the disregard for professionalism and usage of time, the slow way things moved POed most of us, city-slickers that learned to split every second in two. This stage is a stage where decisions could be made. (observe the hi-lighted 'could') You could either quit, or, slowly and unwillingly shift into 

Stage 4 Paradigm shift. (Pun -tended)

I haven't got to this stage here at SAIACS, but I will soon get there, don't worry. I've done it before :P. In JNU, when I was so pissed with taking things slow, I learnt how to keep myself occupied, and think and meditate on things. I watched many movies, read many books, learnt to juggle, learnt to play the guitar a little better, made a crazy bunch of friends, danced for the first time. These things I couldn't have done without having all 24 hours of the day with just 2 hours required to stay afloat in class. At Dwarka, I learnt to cope with loneliness at nights with the movies, and random outings with friends, occasionally enjoying the adventure of walking into a dangerous village unarmed at 11pm!

Stage 5 Settling Down

Nothing much to explain here. Ever heard of the phrase "The City grows into you"? It's true with every new 'phase' on the planet! Just let yourself into the experience, while trying to stay away from the parts that conflict with your own values, and 'Bob's your uncle'!

I can't wait for Stage 5.