5 Stages of Settling in

Every new place I go to, I unconsciously go through a few stages of settling in. Have you heard of the 5 stages of grief? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance? I have my own 5 stages for settling down in a new place. 

Stage 1 Getting a feel 

Being altogether new and all, I try to keep a low profile, while trying to find out as much as possible about the place, and the kind of people that are there. Introvert as I am, I will not talk much, be as polite as possible, and try to not  step on anybody's toes. Doing that in SAIACS was quite the challenge, because like a prof here once said, 'we're all crammed here like sardines'. So getting a feel, which usually takes 2 weeks, took me only one. I got to know many great people, and spotted my potential buddies, and I slowlly slipped to 

Stage 2 Getting comfortable

As the Tamil saying goes, the 'tail came out of the pants' (translated and paraphrased). I started getting bolder, pulling out my usual sarcasm, and getting to know people a little bit more. This is when I slowly stop missing my old friends and try to 'move on' to the new ones. This usually takes 2 months to complete. SAIACS tries its best to be welcoming to new-comers, trying to help us out in any way possible, from faculty to students. The weather speaks for itself, and the campus, with its rough stone railings, huge well-manicured lawn, cheerful people, croquet, cricket, football and music lures you into itself. Days go by quickly, as not much time is wasted. The rigorous academic schedule makes sure of that. After a slight initial complaining, I'm comfortable enough to get to know SAIACS a little more, pushing me into 

Stage 3 Disillusionment

This is where I am now. Since all campuses or places showcase themselves as the ideal spot to be in, and that it's only a closer view that actually reveals that it's impossible to be 'ideal', it pushes you into disillusionment. All those assumptions I made in Stage 1 and 2 slowly break-down when I see the darker reality of what's before me. Virtues I was so used to in other places are absent here. The people here are so different from what I thought they would be like. With SAIACS, it is how stories about you are made and how they come back to you modified and exaggerated. With JNU, it was the dirty dhabas, the disregard for professionalism and usage of time, the slow way things moved POed most of us, city-slickers that learned to split every second in two. This stage is a stage where decisions could be made. (observe the hi-lighted 'could') You could either quit, or, slowly and unwillingly shift into 

Stage 4 Paradigm shift. (Pun -tended)

I haven't got to this stage here at SAIACS, but I will soon get there, don't worry. I've done it before :P. In JNU, when I was so pissed with taking things slow, I learnt how to keep myself occupied, and think and meditate on things. I watched many movies, read many books, learnt to juggle, learnt to play the guitar a little better, made a crazy bunch of friends, danced for the first time. These things I couldn't have done without having all 24 hours of the day with just 2 hours required to stay afloat in class. At Dwarka, I learnt to cope with loneliness at nights with the movies, and random outings with friends, occasionally enjoying the adventure of walking into a dangerous village unarmed at 11pm!

Stage 5 Settling Down

Nothing much to explain here. Ever heard of the phrase "The City grows into you"? It's true with every new 'phase' on the planet! Just let yourself into the experience, while trying to stay away from the parts that conflict with your own values, and 'Bob's your uncle'!

I can't wait for Stage 5.